How People Get In and Out of an Affair
Let’s just go straight to the point. Why do people have an affair? It may well be caused by one or more of the following:
1. They get bored. That’s right. People get bored when things turn into routine and there is no more excitement in what they are doing. The same thing with relationship, a dull relationship that has no more spark in it basically screaming “go and have fun out there!”
2. The grass is always greener on the other side. So the saying goes. It is natural for people to compare, and to find that others have better than what one has. And it is also natural to want something we cannot have.
3. The challenge and the pride. People love challenges. Being able to capture someone’s heart and make them fall for us. And there is the pride, when people think at their age, they are still attractive and wanted.
4. Problems with partners. Everybody has problems, and everybody has flaws. However some choose not to accept their partner’s flaws or to deal with the problems but run away to other arms. There are things that prevent them from leaving their partners, such as children or financial reasons, so an affair would seem to be the reasonable choice, at least for the moment.
Now for those who are involved in an affair and wanting to get out of it. Their reasons are mostly one or more of the following:
1. The excitement of the affair has died down. The new relationship is now becoming boring too, and even worse, it tends to become a burden. The affair may start to demand things and instead of giving comfort as they used to be, is now becoming a nuisance.
2. The guilt and the fear. The affair may seem fun, but it is still not the right thing to do. Someone will get hurt along the way. What will our steady partner feel when they find out about it? Then they might leave us. Most people are not ready for separations. They often realise that after all, it is not what they are after.
3. Things are getting difficult. The steady partner may start smelling something is not right and therefore pay a lot more attention. Also as the relationship gets deeper, people tend to want more and more things. Sometimes, they are just not possible.
4. Realisation that the problems may not be in their partners, but within themselves. Things that were wrong with their steady partner now resurface with the affair. One may realise that no matter who he/she is with, they are probably going to face the same problems.